The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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