do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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