With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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