i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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