I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
