Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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