How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize