Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
