i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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