We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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