Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
