she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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