Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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