Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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