I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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