I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
