im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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