I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
