So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize