In the future we'll all be gay
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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