when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize