we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.