my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
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He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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