"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.