we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules