break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.