She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
