my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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