I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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