just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
