i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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