The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How many fucks given?
0.12846
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize