So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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