Got a toothbrush?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
