well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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