i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
