Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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