Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
