my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.