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Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she smelled like a LAN party
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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