If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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