Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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