Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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