Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
how drunk are you?
Several
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
