I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is my gift to your gina
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
