I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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