I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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