Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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