What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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