So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
