yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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