Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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