Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
