At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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