Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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