If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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