I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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