if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
