Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
