are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
