dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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