Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
