just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So squirting runs in the family.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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