He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me