Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating