I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.