first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.