woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...