did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
