I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
