last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
