She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
