He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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